Friday, March 23, 2007

In response to an "iFags" comment

I originally wrote this as a comment in reply to the following comment, but then realised it captured a little more about my purpose than that which would otherwise get left in the dusty remains of a post dead to the world.

anonymous said...

IE and their iFags to the rescue...

we had nightmares over here when we tried to make our so web 2.0 front-end apps work 'ok-ish' on IE...

Firefox load&render time: 10s
Opera load&render time: 11s
IE6 load&render time: 68s (WTF?!?!)
IE7 load&render time: 45s (FOMSFM!)

My response, now posted here instead:



What the fuck happened to you that created that mashup of terminology?

If you want to insult IE or the team behind it, you'll have to do much better than insinuating homosexuality using language best kept to bible-banging fucks protesting funerals.

Tell the IE6< teams that they suck satan's hard, scaly cock. Tell them that they roast infants over a pit of fire, skewered with a rusty spike, and then vomit their baby-dinners over the ashes. Tell them that the entirety of their careers has led up to costing billions of dollars from nations around the world, starving the poor and fucking over every citizen whose government has had Microsoft tear their asshole open like a railroad spike hammered through a keyhole.

But if you insinuate homosexuality, you haven't done a goddamn thing except render your urgument weightless. If you insinuate homosexuality by using "fag" as an insult, you've simply exposed yourself as a fat, stupid, mid-western American.

P.S. IE sticks to the two HTTP requests per server rule, even though they ignore a metric fuckton of other standards. Try consolidating your scripts and styles into fewer total requests.

P.P.S. If your web app takes ten seconds to load, at best, you had better have written this from Abode about the new web-based Photoshop...'cause, damn.

By the way, if anybody knows what the fuck "FOMSFM" stands for, please let me know. And "iFags" with the small "i" just makes me think more about internet-savvy muscle boys from Cupertino than about anything that sounds remotely insulting.

Labels: ,

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Microsoft Script Debugger

I fully grant that I lose several points for getting my hopes up on this one.

I've installed the debugger, I hit "open" in the "View -> Script Debugger" menu (since, you know, that makes the most fucking sense...rather than "Tools" or its own fucking "Debug" menu), scripts open, and the goddamn thing freezes on me. To the point where not only do I have to force the piece of shit to exit, but when IE comes back up, it doesn't even have the option to open the debugger any more. reboot later...

Making my way through, and when I break on the next statement, which happens to exist in the form of an event handler, I get a single-line script of the anonymous function. No other files opened, nothing. I need to select "Running Documents" and then navigate down the tree and double-click the file that should come next in evaluation. Basically, I guess they want to get the message across that not only do they not give a shit about the users, they don't give a shit about the developers trying support their worthless spawn of marketing.

And, yes: "spawn of marketing" generates much more vulergatity and insult than anything remotely like calling them "ceo-fucked whores with an affinity for puppy's assholes" could convey.

Labels: ,