Friday, March 23, 2007

In response to an "iFags" comment

I originally wrote this as a comment in reply to the following comment, but then realised it captured a little more about my purpose than that which would otherwise get left in the dusty remains of a post dead to the world.

anonymous said...
meh...

IE and their iFags to the rescue...

we had nightmares over here when we tried to make our so web 2.0 front-end apps work 'ok-ish' on IE...

Firefox load&render time: 10s
Opera load&render time: 11s
IE6 load&render time: 68s (WTF?!?!)
IE7 load&render time: 45s (FOMSFM!)


My response, now posted here instead:

anonymous:

"iFags?"

What the fuck happened to you that created that mashup of terminology?

If you want to insult IE or the team behind it, you'll have to do much better than insinuating homosexuality using language best kept to bible-banging fucks protesting funerals.

Tell the IE6< teams that they suck satan's hard, scaly cock. Tell them that they roast infants over a pit of fire, skewered with a rusty spike, and then vomit their baby-dinners over the ashes. Tell them that the entirety of their careers has led up to costing billions of dollars from nations around the world, starving the poor and fucking over every citizen whose government has had Microsoft tear their asshole open like a railroad spike hammered through a keyhole.

But if you insinuate homosexuality, you haven't done a goddamn thing except render your urgument weightless. If you insinuate homosexuality by using "fag" as an insult, you've simply exposed yourself as a fat, stupid, mid-western American.

P.S. IE sticks to the two HTTP requests per server rule, even though they ignore a metric fuckton of other standards. Try consolidating your scripts and styles into fewer total requests.

P.P.S. If your web app takes ten seconds to load, at best, you had better have written this from Abode about the new web-based Photoshop...'cause, damn.


By the way, if anybody knows what the fuck "FOMSFM" stands for, please let me know. And "iFags" with the small "i" just makes me think more about internet-savvy muscle boys from Cupertino than about anything that sounds remotely insulting.

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4 Comments:

Blogger jeffkee said...

I coined the term iFags first.. I believe, or I hope at least. Except I referenced to it in regards to Mac users - the religious zealot-type of mac users.

http://blog.jeffkee.com/2007/03/22/mac-macbook-windows-pc-better-debate/

3:33 AM  
Blogger The Hater said...

Jeffkee:

I think "Applepheliac" fits the sentiments of your post a bit better. Or "Apple's army of anal sex slaves."

See, "iFag" just sounds to me like a feeble attempt at insult by implying a sexual preference rather than someone (like those you describe in your post) who would, upon meeting Steve Jobs in person, would dive for his crotch, lips first.

7:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Boy , it's too bad howe everyone has to dive for PC jackass cover if they ever see or hear someone else use the dreaded F word, let alone the F word with some attendant smallcase pre-designator...
Wow, I thought this whole bang the F word user over the head thing was about exactly how Microsoft acts most the time fixing it's own errors.
Jeeze... I guess I'll leave now for a while.
Don't be like msft. Don't be a PC freak.

12:23 PM  
Blogger The Hater said...

Do I really seem like someone who gives a shit about what you or anyone else considers politically correct?

If you want to come up with an insult, do it right. Calling someone a fag or a nigger or whatever "Oh, no! He said the word of evil!" name just seems like a lazy fucking cop-out.

5:17 PM  

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