Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Exploring the issue of IE's market share

IE has a monster of a monkey wrench clamped down on the nuts of the industry when it comes to market share. It didn't earn it, and very few of its suckers users out there consciously chose IE over another browser. The vast majority of people use it for the same reason they use it to look through their C drive for the porn they downloaded: they don't know that better options exist, or they think that installing a browser will have the same shit-ware that came with their cheap-ass Windows machine in the first place.

Most sysadmins out there like the fact that they can use Microsoft's tools to auto-configure IE to their company's policies in an attempt to keep every one of their doomed machines from getting eaten alive the second some jackass in marketing tries installing a "weather alert program" from a popup. Well guess what? Every other major browser out there installs more securely by default. Since they don't come as part of the core fucking operating system, they have at least a few more non-ActiveX steps for attackers to take before they can remotely annihilate a machine. Hell, Firefox even makes it damn easy to distribute a customized, branded version of it to your employees.

I won't say companies should drop Windows. Not in this post, at least. The majority of the companies out there rely on Microsoft Office, which means they need Windows. Open source equivalents like OpenOffice work great until you need to work with people using Microsoft Office. Microsoft's own Mac Office suite doesn't keep up with the Windows suite, and has its own compatibility issues. Switching to another operating system in a corporate setting, while completely possible and encouraged, has its own vast fields of shit sysadmins must cross on their bellies in order to start the process.

IE lacks the support of any useful technologies, like a modern JavaScript engine, SVG, canvas, or even native XMLHttpRequest support. Fuck, IE still renders its select inputs as core OS widgets, making it near impossible to display other markup elements over them. IE represents all the wonders of modern engineering of a fifteen year-old Ford Escort that won't die, its owner sinking thrice its worth into fixing the piece of shit rather than giving it away and starting fresh.

Microsoft waves its market share in our faces, just to see us writhe in disgust because we know how they got it. IE's market share proves its superiority over other browsers just like Vista's market share proves its superiority - it proves fuck all, other than Microsoft can cram anything down the throats of consumers and, while the consuming public might choke a little at the size and roughness of it, they'll slurp at it and beg for more. Some of them may bitch to their friends about how they don't like it, but they always find themselves back under Microsoft's hulk, taking it like any other bitch.

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12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

we share opinion about IE. I'm sure it's a very small (stupid) core that use IE of any other reason than just because they don't know that they're are lots of better browsers other there, or believe that it's hard to change (changing from IE too FF is annoyingly simple, it's can import virtually anything all, except the annoying search bars and spyware)

3:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, ie isn't that bad....IE6 is pretty good....7 is lame

10:43 PM  
Blogger The Hater said...

"well, ie isn't that bad....IE6 is pretty good....7 is lame"

Well...difficult to argue with such a powerful argument. I have to say, I don't feel convinced in the least. In fact, after a fucking pathetic comment like that I have even less respect for IE's users.

Try something else. You can now choose from three other major browsers (Firefox, Opera, and Safari), all of which run circles around IE6 and IE7 in terms of performance, functionality, support, and usability.

Wake the fuck up.

10:56 PM  
Blogger JuanPa said...

Have you thought about this: Microsoft doesnt want people to have a good browser installed by default b/c that makes it easier for "web 2.0" apps to compete with desktop apps. Desktop apps are the only reason to buy windows, visual studio 2005, etc, etc, etc. Microsoft's bread and butter is the whole desktop concept.

9:08 AM  
Blogger The Hater said...

juanpa: An interesting theory that I've heard a few times over the years, but I don't really see any evidence of it. Microsoft has (especially in the last year or so) put a lot of time and money into improving IE, and has started working a great deal more with the community as a whole in order to get it to suck less.

The problem stems from the magnitude of how much IE current fucking sucks. They have a tidal wave of shit to fix and they can only do so much, so "getting it to suck less" doesn't mean that it will stop sucking anytime soon.

10:16 AM  
Anonymous Kikdo said...

Man this is an excellent blog. Your humorous comments only further add to the greatness. IE truly does suck balls. So much so, I had to put a little comment in the footer of my site that reads something like "Best if viewed using FireFox -- Why?". Guess where the "Why?" part links to? Yep, this informative blog.

Keep it up.

ありがとう

11:53 PM  
Blogger The Hater said...

Kikdo: Excellent! Post the link so everyone can see (and do likewise).

1:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was an insult to Ford Escorts. Sure, the 15 year-old ones might be crap, but that's because they're more complex than the 20 year-old ones. Those pre-1986 hemis were fucking _notorious_, man!

3:27 AM  
Blogger The Hater said...

I never thought I would see the day that someone would refer to a Ford Escort as "fucking notorious."

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still just can't believe it... Such a fucking huge company, shitloads of developers, and still not being able to produce a browser which supports the W3C standards. They don't even come close! In comparison, Firefox did it with almost only voulenteers, and Opera isn't a big company either. So why is it this way? Is it the same reason why fucking 16-bit apps are still supported in Windows, a.k.a. 'we are too affraid to break stone-age code, so we keep supporting it, although we know that it stands in the way of progress'. Fucking basterds!

4:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you guys,
especially "the hater"
are full of shit

seriously, firefox is slow
as hell, but i do like safari,
but i have to download plugins.
firefox is gay.

do you code websites?
obviously you dont know
the hassle i have to go through
coding them for slow-ass firefox,
all because of a stupid backslash.

6:13 PM  
Blogger The Hater said...

'you guys,
especially "the hater"
are full of shit'

Sometimes, but not here. Back this up with some facts, motherfucker.

'seriously, firefox is slow
as hell, but i do like safari,
but i have to download plugins.
firefox is gay.'

Perhaps you missed the purpose of this site, entitled "Why IE Sucks." All browsers have issues, but IE out-sucks them all for a myriad of reasons. Want to bash Firefox? Go for it. Go start your own fucking site and accumulate readers who give a shit, 'cause nobody here does.

'do you code websites?
obviously you dont know
the hassle i have to go through
coding them for slow-ass firefox,
all because of a stupid backslash.'

Give me some fucking benchmarks that show Firefox running slower than IE. Give me some concrete examples, or go fuck yourself. If you "code websites," as you succinctly put it, you know that you either code to Microsoft's "standards" and ignore every other browser, fucking yourself in the process (future-proof, hello?), or you code to the standards and spend half your time getting IE to fucking listen to them.

8:56 PM  

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